10 top tips for getting fat this Christmas

cooperative-fatIt’s Christmas.  My body is telling me to fuel up to prepare for hard times ahead, so who am I to hold it back. Why run against tradition?

Tip 1:  You need a plan.  Consuming 7-8,000 calories on Christmas day needs a menu. Don’t sprint off, treat it like you would an Ironman. Remember it’s an all day job.

Tip 2: Start as you mean to go on.  Breakfast needs to be wholesome.  Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon or full English is a good holiday treat.

Tip 3:  Don’t take any notice of my last blog.  Going for a run or a bike ride will burn calories which means those calories will need replacing. Take it easy.  This is the day for food.  Get your kids or granny to run around and bring you food, let them burn calories.

Tip 4:  Inevitably you will get a jumper, fleece, hat, shirt or socks.  Wear them all, all day.  This is a double whammy.  Not only will the giver be flattered that you like their gift so much you don’t want to take it off but you also don’t want to burn calories keeping warm.

Tip 5:  Get the big plates out.  Small plates encourage tiny portions.  This will not do.

Tip 6:  You need co-operative fat. The sort that your body will store for ages. I found some in the Co-op.  Brilliant.  Use a jar to roast potatoes, parsnip, sprouts, Yorkshire Puddings, carrots, peas and turkey. Can also be used to lubricate a bike chain.

Tip 7:  Christmas Pudding is a must.  My Dad had it right, pudding with custard … and cream.  It is also good cold for post-Christmas rides and Ironman fuel.

Tip 8:  Eat chocolates preferably other people’s.

Tip 9:  Do the whole Christmas dinner again for supper.  This is the meal you have after your post-Christmas dinner nap.

Tip 10:  Before you retire to bed don’t forget there’s always room for just one more tiny weeny wafer thin mint!... back to Qi tri

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